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Robert Kelsey Illustration

Robert Kelsey Illustration - Pen and Paper meet Pain and Pepper
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Attendance was up since the new plant sprouted in the Botanical Gardens. They were raking in the money, since they charged admission on the way in, and not on the way out. If only their parking lot wasn’t full of abandoned cars.
Did you know pigeons could pray? That they have a god? That their god listens and acts, while ours stay silent?
“Boy the fish just aren’t biting today. I’ll give it... another hour and then pack it in. Hey wait a second, isn’t that the guy from the bait shop? Hey! What are you doing skulking in the bushes?... Well if you’re fishing too, come on down here! I d
“Rest now. You’ve done enough. And we can finish without you.”
None navigate the forests so well as those who ride the roads between roads, astride those who wore the thin paths into the undergrowth themselves. One may appear to you if you become lost. They will not assist you, but at least you’ll know you’re l
When news reached the castle of the peasant’s anger and unrest, the nobles released terrible giant eels into the lake which surrounded the palace. Now, it lies abandoned, its residents having starved to death long ago. No boat seeking to bring them
The citizens of the desert city would store their secrets in the sanctum in the wastes. It was a hard journey, but people wracked by guilt would do a lot for relief. One could stand at the threshold and whisper their sins into the tunnel, or stand w
“They were kind of cute” thought the captain, seconds before the torpedoes struck his hull with an ear-splitting “QUACK”
High atop the cliffs that overlooked the baron’s castle, an overgrown mushroom sprouted. It pulsed with energy, and called to the shepherd. They spent 3 days climbing hand-over-hand, the call growing louder with each passing minute. When at last the
The Shepherd of Stone, awoken - just as the legends foretold - in the mountains’ hour of need, stood looming over the Baron’s Palace. The energy thrumming through their brain (a knot of mushroom and meat) told them what they needed to do. Lead the h
After an hour or so, the screaming died down. The ship was fine, its course unimpeded. It was still held in the tight embrace of the kraken, but the beast appeared to be more of a stowaway than an enemy.
Shaun should’ve been happier. He was living in the penthouse, and the view was every bit as lovely as he had been promised. But all those screams and sirens were really making it hard to focus on arranging all of his knickknacks.
Angelo’s father once wore the hat and pushed the wagon. But one day his father began to cough black bile and couldn’t get out of bed. Now the hat and wagon have been passed down, as they have dozens of time before. Angelo will grow into them.
The Ogre of Florence, who once terrorized the countryside, was finally subdued thanks to a stern talking to by local mason, who had built a “time out box” for him. Though the ogre is easily strong enough to tear down the walls, and large enough to s
That was the last straw. Some goddamn “artist” had been putting these hideous statues up all over town for months. And now there was one in the small creek behind your shed. On your private property! You grabbed a hatchet and headed out to make a fe
Years had passed since the gigantic captain of the Dreadnought had been killed while his ship sank in the harbor. Now the salty sea air cures his weathered flesh. A few years more, and the locals will have all the jerky they can eat.
When their father returned from the hunt, a boar slung over his shoulder, the sisters would quickly collect the tools needed to prepare the carcass. They were taught that time cannot be wasted when good meat is on the line. And late that summer, whe
Blowing smoke rings displays a distinct lack of creativity.
In certain regions of the United States, the 90’s swing revival was alarmingly literal.
“Now I may just be a provincial manifestation of the concept of justice, but I would be remiss if I allowed y’all to pass your verdict without first hearing about all of the relevant facts. Now let’s talk about my client’s great great great grandf

 

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